Three Short Stories
by StJost
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin; this is a collection of three short stories I wrote about everyone's favorite Clown Prince of Crime. Hope you enjoy!
1. For All We Know

This is my first story I've put on here! Aren't you guys just so proud of me? Well, on to the nitty gritty. I was reading this collection of drabbles on here called "Psychodroning" by John Locke, which are written by using the first sentence of every tenth page (10, 20, 30, etc.) of any book. Well, I thought that was a pretty nifty idea, so I borrowed it and wrote these. They're not so much drabbles as they are micro stories, but I liked how they turned out, and so I decided to finally put them on here.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from Batman (but if the Joker was on eBay, I would buy him in a second!!!), and so I can't take credit for that. Which sucks. And all first sentences are taken from Michael Crichton's "Prey." Also, I'd like to give credit for this idea to John Locke. 'Woot' to you, John!

This first story is a sort of "what-if" scenario. I guess you could call it an "Elseworlds" tale, but I don't really know that much about "Elseworlds," and I only concentrate on one thing changing. Remember, kids, reviews are appreciated! Enjoy!

For All We Know

The doctor said there was nothing for me to do; they would wake her up every half hour during the night. Her breathing had stabilized and the baby was going to be fine. I snuck one last glance at Jeannie before they closed the door, blocking my view. Feeling somewhat lost, I trudged off down the hall, exhausted, but overjoyed. Nine months of waiting and we finally got to see the fruits of our labor. Well, the fruits of _her _labor, anyway. Stopping midway down the corridor, I noticed a sign that said 'chapel' suspended above a doorframe. I'd never been overly religious, but I figured that it might at least offer some peace and quiet. Opening the door, I walked in to see a man already sitting in the front pew. He looked up as I entered, and I immediately felt like an intruder.

"Sorry," I mumbled under my breath, turning to leave.

"No, please," the man said, "It's no problem."

"You sure?" I asked uneasily.

"Yeah." Shrugging, I let the door shut behind me. The guy looked truly miserable, so in the spirit of good will, I walked up to the front and sat down next to him.

"D'you care if I ask who you're in here for?"

"No," her replied, his dark hair covering his eyes slightly, "I have a friend in the ICU."

"That's awful," I said with genuine concern, "What happened?"

"He got caught up in a motorcycle accident."

"I'm sorry." We sat there in silence for a good long time, enjoying the peace of the chapel, until the door creaked quietly open. Looking up, I saw my wife standing there. My surprise must have been obvious because she laughed quietly as the baby slept blissfully in her arms. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was nearly 2:38 am. I'd been in there for nearly two hours.

"Tell your friend to get well soon for me, okay?" I said to the man as I stood up.

"Thanks," he smiled up at me. I walked to the doorway, putting an arm around Jeannie. I ran a hand over the baby's soft hair, noting the bright blue eyes that would flutter open from time to time. He had his mother's eyes. Exiting the chapel, we headed towards the lobby.

"I'm guessing you're feeling better, then," I grinned.

"Yep," she nodded, "The doctor said I was ready to go home and that we shouldn't have anymore problems from here on out." I sighed in relief.

"Good Lord, you women are tough." She laughed as we got to the front desk. Checking out, we headed outside and to the car.

"So what did Mr. Wayne have to say to you, honey?" she asked as I opened the door for her.

"Is that who that was?" I asked, feeling slightly dim for not recognizing him, "Well, I dunno. He said he had a friend in the ICU." I crossed to my side and got in, starting the car.

"I wonder if it was his ward. You know, that Grayson boy."

"Eh, as quiet about it as he was, it could have been the Boy Wonder for all we know."

Well, that's it for chapter one, I hope you liked it! Please review and tell me what you think!


	2. Found

Alright, kids, here's chapter two. Same disclaimer, same concept, different story!

Found

At first, it was hard to understand what I was seeing. I mean, sure, I knew it was an apartment, and knew it meant something to me for some reason. Stepping tentatively through the door, I found myself in a small living room. It seemed to be covered in dust as if no one had lived there for years. In all likelihood, they probably hadn't. I maneuvered around furniture, noticing a baby cradle against one wall. So this couple must have had a kid, then. Or maybe they were expecting one. Crossing to the kitchen, I spotted an area on the counter and wall that looked charred, as though an electrical outlet had burst there. Sure enough, the remnants of an outlet peeked out from the blackened wallpaper, looking as though it had been blown apart. Burnt plastic and rubber were melted into the kitchen counter, surrounded by a ruddy burgundy stain, which was more than likely caramelized blood. A still-open canister of powdered milk formula sat nearby, its contents solidified and dotted with dead insects. Leaving the kitchen, I entered the hall, taking note of the various pictures, which were probably of the previous owners. I lifted one off of its hook to examine it. It appeared to be a wedding picture, and a rather old one. The frame was falling apart and a spider web of cracks obscured the top left corner, along with several dark splotches of mildew from the moisture that had soaked in through the fractures. Not much of the man in the picture's face could be seen, but I could tell that he was tall and lanky, with angular features and a nice smile. Anything above that was covered in blotches, making him unidentifiable. The woman, though, had long, wavy, blonde hair that was done up in a simple, yet lovely fashion. She had a kind smile and bright, watery, blue eyes that seemed to make the picture glow, and yet I still couldn't seem to place her. Putting the picture back in its place on the wall, I turned to the open door of the bathroom. It was fairly small, but just above the sink was a large mirror. There was nothing fancy or really recognizable about it, but it seemed to evoke a sense of déjà vu in me. It was a pleasant feeling, the kind of feeling you get before you're about to do a really big performance. The kind of feeling that makes you proud of yourself for getting this far, but want to throw up at the same time. Leaning forward over the sink, I studied my reflection. It stared right back in a scrutinizing way, its bright, green eyes burning holes through my own. I looked away, feeling as though I was trying to stare down a lion and failing miserably. Exiting the bathroom, I headed for the door. This house, this apartment, whatever it was…it was unnerving. I rested my hand on the doorknob, ready to wrench it open and get the hell out of there. Thinking twice, though, it seemed to defeat my entire purpose for coming here. I'd have to face it some day. I'd eventually have to remember. Pacing back across the room, I stepped back into the hall for a moment and grabbed the picture again. I didn't know who these people were, but there had to be a connection between them and me. Striding once more towards the doorway, I pulled it shut behind me as I left.

Hopping off the small, concrete stoop, I headed for a car parked by the curb. Its engine started, and the driver, a shapely girl in a harlequin outfit, leaned over to open the door for me. Getting in, I pulled it shut and looked at the picture again.

"Find what you were lookin' for, Puddin'?" she asked, pulling away from the curb. I stared at the picture again, looking from the blue eyes of the woman in the wedding dress to the blue eyes of the girl sitting next to me, and smiled.

"You know something?" I grinned, "I think I already found it."

So, what'd ya think?! Was it enthralling?! Was it the best thing you've ever read?! Was it boring to no end?! Leave me some feedback, I'd love to know what you guys think!


	3. My Life and Times at Arkham Asylum

Disclaimer: I don't own this blah blah blah idea wasn't mine blah blah blah thanks John! Blah blah blah!

My Life and Times at Arkham Asylum

She stared at me, waiting. I'm not sure what she was waiting for, but she seemed satisfied when I made eye contact. Maybe she turned away because I creeped her out. Maybe it was because I'd been acting strangely all day. I don't even really remember if it was the same day. For all I know, that could have been a week later. But I know I'd been looking at my feet. They had me in those god-awful slippers, the off-white ones that matched the rest of the uniform. Lord, I hated that uniform. It was so drab, and it itched in the most awkward places! I swear, they didn't use any fabric softener. Of course, that was if they even washed them, which they didn't. I had ketchup stains on them from the first day they stuck me in there. Not like I'd eaten the ketchup, though. On the contrary, the condiment had started a vicious lunchroom war. I was winning, of course, but that wasn't the point. None of us were risking our hot dogs with that ketchup. Hell, it was a surprise any of us were risking our hot dogs at all. It was their ultimate form of torture: cafeteria food. I'd rather they put me back in electro-shock therapy again. At least that was before lunch, so all the food tasted like you were chewing on electrical wire, which was delicious when they started trying to make barbecue chicken. The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were okay, though. Naturally, those were hard to mess up, especially since we put them together ourselves. Unfortunately, they still left us writhing on our cots in the middle of the night, dearly wishing we'd skipped lunch again. At least we normally got to sleep through the backaches the worthless, makeshift beds brought on. They could've at least given us a bit of that egg-carton stuff, just to make it a _bit _softer, but noooo! You tended to get used to the bedding after a while, mostly because they'd increased your sedatives to the point where you passed out before your head hit the particularly lumpy pillow. But hey, it was a living, right?

"You never answered my question." I looked up at her again, forgetting about my shoes, or the uniform, the ketchup and hot dogs, the electro-shock therapy, and the horrible bedding, and smiled.

"Wouldn't you?"

Well, there you go! That was the last one. Thanks for reading, kids, and again, leave me some feedback. What do you think the question was? Tell me, I'd love to know these things!


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